Only a few days after we had declined the other referral that I wrote about, we received a call from our agency about another child. Her file looked pretty good - although she was definitely small and somewhat behind developmentally. We thought her progress seemed good, though, so we said "yes" and submitted our Letter of Intent. At the same time, we asked the orphanage for an update on her because the file was very old - from almost 10 months earlier. The update came about a week later and contained measurements and developmental information TOTALLY different from that which had been in the original file. Where the original file said she weighed 13 pounds at 6-7 months, the "update" said she weighed 13 pounds at 20 months. Where the original file listed her at one height/length, the update showed her 3 inches smaller. Where the original file showed several good developmental milestones, the update did not have those listed. Our agency asked for an explanation for the very different information. Another week went by - and in the meantime, our LOA (something everyone is desperately waiting for to move forward with their adoption) arrived. The orphanage finally responded that they were very sorry, but the original file was full of inaccurate information. We asked for pictures so that we might be able to determine from those what was really going on, whether she had grown, how tiny she really was, what she could do, etc... We asked for a picture of her standing or a full-body picture. The orphanage sent only a headshot - nothing showing her body or size or abilities. They refused to send anything more or to explain why they were now saying that the original file was all wrong. We consulted with doctors again and they were very skeptical that we had any/enough valid and reliable information from which to make this leap of faith. They also thought her lack of growth signaled that her brain might also not be growing. Totally discouraged and sad, we returned the LOA saying that we could not accept this file. I think this was the point when we felt the most discouraged and uncertain about the whole process. I began to wonder if maybe we were mistaken about adoption being something we were supposed to do. We were also really frustrated that some of the orphanages seem to be doing things that hinder the adoption process vs. help the children.
