Landed in China!

Finally at hotel after 30 hours of flying, airport sitting due to flight delays to province, and harrowing taxi rides.  The guide tells us Nanchang is "very Chinese" and not like the international cities of Shanghai, Beijing, etc... not many English signs here - but we did see Walmart, KFC & Starbucks.  The hotel had a crib, baby tub & stroller waiting for us.  After about 5 hours of sleep - after 30 hours of being awake (ugh) - we are getting ready to check the breakfast buffet, to meet our guide to exchange money, to get a few more waters & provisions at Wal-Mart, and then come back to wait for "EJ" - as Daddy has already nicknamed Emily Jean.  She comes to us this afternoon (while all are sleeping in the US). 

Thoughts before we leave...

I guess because we were quiet about our adoption plans during my mom's final illness, some in our family were really shocked by our news.  I guess it is/was shocking.  We have 5 and 7 year old boys.  Our lives are as "stable" as they could be, I suppose.  We've sort of been rocking along in the same boat for quite a while, in a groove/routine...  We had no trouble having children.  So, I guess it is a shock to say that we are now planning to head to the other side of the world for a daughter. 

Maybe not everyone realizes that we began discussing this four years ago.  And during those four years, we've spent hours and hours and hours reading and reviewing medical information and blogs, talking to other adoptive parents, talking to social workers and agency representatives, researching special needs, running financial spreadsheets, reading book after book, taking online parenting and Chinese cultural courses, and hoping and praying to make the right decisions.  We've spent MANY frustrating hours compiling and completing paperwork, getting documents notarized and sealed and authenticated, driving from courthouses to the Secretary of State's office and back, copying and mailing at Kinkos and Fed Ex locations, cleaning the house wildly for home-study visits, writing our (required) autobiographies, talking to the boys about adoption, reviewing information and charts and timelines.  And, we've spent hours agonizing over files of children - each one incredibly precious and deserving of a family -  to try to determine - with the assistance of doctors and specialists - whether we had the resources and ability to say "yes" to adopting them.  This adoption - while shocking to some - has been the most planned-for and thought out thing that we've ever done.

 

During these years of preparing for adoption, I've learned a lot about not only the process, but about who adopts.  There are many different reasons why people choose adoption.  And although what leads people to the process in the first place seems to vary, what is a constant in the "adoption world" is that people are forever changed by what they learn and see about orphans and by the faces they meet and leave behind.  Another constant is incredible LOVE these families have for children and how they joyfully sacrifice and share to be able to make a better life for a child who just needs love and a family.

I don't know that I would have ever come to the idea of adoption if I didn't grow up in and now share a wonderful family.  My parents didn't adopt, but they loved us fiercely.  As a long-time high school coach, my dad served as a surrogate dad and as a coach, mentor, and friend to hundreds of young men.  He loved his players and he did all he could to teach them not only how to play football, but how to be men of character and integrity.  He also loved us and loved my mom - especially evident after her diagnosis with hideous cancer - more than anything.  My mom also loved us and spent her life trying to help and serve others.  She cared for struggling plants, little animals, children, and she served and cared for - through sending packages, cards, notes, and prayers - hundreds and hundreds of U.S. soldiers.  She showed me and my sister how to be a mom and, although I can't ever measure up to her benchmark, I had the very best model to help me try. 

 

I have two of the most awesome boys in the world!!  Jackson - my very first baby - and the boy who made me a mom - is my special loving, caring, empathetic, giant brown-eyed one.  He sees and feels everything and never wants others to be sad.  He has the memory of an elephant and can learn song lyrics, movie lines, spelling words, etc... in a matter of minutes.  He has already drawn up "plans" for where we will all lay down on his bedroom floor to cuddle at night and for how he will hold and sing to his little sister.  She is going to love having a biggest brother like Jackson. 

 

And my "baby Graham" - as his teachers used to call him... is the most snuggly, huggy, kissy, sweetest (usually) boy in the whole world!  We got off to a crazy start since he wouldn't sleep - FOR YEARS!!  But, I wouldn't trade my years of holding him in a chair, curling up with him on a tiny crib mattress on the floor, being called by him throughout the night, and 5 years of little and crazy sleep - for anything. :)  He is so curious about nature and loves to be a little helper with food, cleaning, fixing "hurt spots," and growing vegetables and flowers.  He will finally get the chance to be not just a little brother, but a big brother too!! Emily Jean is going to be one doted-upon little sister!

I've always known that adoption was my dream - and not something Justin would likely have ever thought up on his own.  But, among the things that makes him a great husband and father (and I definitely should say this to and about him MUCH more often and I have very much fallen short by not having done that), is that he loves me enough to help make my dream come true.  That's not to say he hasn't been (and isn't still) worried and nervous about what we're doing, whether it will disrupt our delicate balance of work and home-life, the finances involved, and how we'll make it all work.  But, he's still willing to take the leap of faith/plunge with me.   This isn't quite what we pictured, projecting out 10 years, when we relaxed on the beach in St. John on our honeymoon in 2004, but hopefully it will be a great way to celebrate 10 years of our family.

And so we leave in one week to get our Emily Jean...  Some people say she is lucky and maybe there is something to that -- up to a point.  Maybe she is lucky that her orphanage decided to ready her "file" for adoption - since they don't do that for every child in orphanage care.  But, I think that's where the "lucky" part ends.  Really, what she is now is someone who has to be brave and who has to be willing to say goodbye to everything and everyone she has ever known and who has to allow her little heart to be open to love and accept other people...people who don't look like or smell like or talk like or sound like anybody who has ever cared for her.  Her little almost-18-month-old self has to overcome confusion and grief and be open to embrace a whole new life.  That's a lot to ask of anyone!  Yes - it is a better life than being in an orphanage.  But, we know that although orphanage life is not ideal, she has been loved.  Her caregiver has held her and loved her and cared for her.  She has dressed her in warm clothes during cold winters and has made sure she had sunglasses and a hat to wear outside (especially important for a child with albinism).  She has showed Emily our picture album and - hopefully - told her about us.  This transition and this trip is going to be difficult for Emily.  So, is she "lucky?"  I don't think so.  I think she is a survivor and someone who is brave way beyond her years.  If anyone is "lucky" here, it's us! 





Consulate Appointment and Flights Booked!

We received our first choice for a Consulate Appointment - July 7th.  We were nervous because the reports were that appointments were in high demand in early July.  This means that our "gotcha day" for Emily will be Sunday, June 29th!!   We can hardly believe that four years of discussion and planning and praying and fretting is finally coming to an end (at least for this stage)!  We cannot wait to finally meet our daughter!  I know, though, that leaving our boys for two weeks (which is the best decision for all of us - we think) is going to be one of the hardest things we've ever done.

 

Please pray for safe travels for us, a smooth (as possible) transition for Emily, a good time at home (with Nana and RAS and cousins and aunts/uncles) for Jackson and Graham, and lots of patience and grace for all who have some part to play in our journey.  We want to get back home safe and sound and ready to start our new life as a family of five. 

 

 

 

 

WE HAVE TRAVEL APPROVAL!!

Our agency called this afternoon to tell us that our Travel Approval documents were just delivered!  We discussed our 5 choices (you have to give a "top five" list of dates) for Consulate Appointments and then submitted those.  So, now we wait - hopefully just until tomorrow morning - to find out when our appointment will be.  Once we have that, we can book flights and start to pack (and panic)!!

Last Update before we leave!

We asked for one last update on Emily while we wait for Travel Approval.  We received these pictures (date stamped late April and early-mid May).  We were thrilled to see that the orphanage showed her our photo album!!  She seems to be studying our pictures.  We just hope and pray that somehow, she will be prepared for our arrival and for the time to leave behind all she has ever known.

Our Article 5 documents were dropped off in Guangzhou, China on May 12th and are scheduled to be picked up and taken to Beijing on May 27th.  After that "pick-up," we will wait for "Travel Approval."  Travel Approvals have been ranging between 10-18 days for most people lately.  Some come faster and some families have had to endure longer waits.  We are hoping for a middle ground so that we have a week or more to make travel plans for us - and for Nana - who is coming in to help take care of the boys.

TIMELINE SO FAR:
1/3/13 - Submit application to our agency (Emily was born on this date)
January - May 2013: compiling/notarizing/State sealing/Consulate authenticating all dossier documents, home study visits/home study finalized
6/1/13: I-800a submitted
7/3/13: Fingerprint day (walk-in)
8/3/13: I-797 approval
9/16/13: LID (dossier logged into system in China)
3/12/15: Referral for Emily - see her face for the first time
3/15/14: Official "yes" - submit LOI (Letter of Intent) and receive PA (preliminary approval)
4/11/14: LOA (Letter Seeking Confirmation of Adopter) generated in China
4/15/14: sign LOA and submit I-800 to USCIS
4/28/14: I-800 approval
5/2/14: GUZ number received
5/6/14: NVC letter received
5/12/14: Article 5 drop-off
5/27/14: Article 5 pick-up
???????: Travel Approval
???????: "Gotcha" day in Jiangxi province (red area in map below)
???????:  Consulate appointment
???????:  Come home

More things showing us that Emily is meant to be our girl

One of the first things I noticed about Emily's file is that she was born the very day we submitted our application to our adoption agency.  (She was left with a note indicating that she had been born Jan. 3, 2013)

Shortly after we submitted our Letter of Intent for her, I posted about her on a "closed/secret" Facebook group of other parents who are in the midst of the adoption process.  One of the comments I received about her picture directed me to check my personal messages.  I checked and this story then unfolded:  Another family had received Emily's file in October - when she was only 10 months old - and had submitted a Letter of Intent for her and had begun to complete their paperwork to adopt her.  They had also intended for her middle name to be "Jean."  A few months into their "paperchase," their son - who had been involved in a terrible car accident several years before - had to undergo additional surgeries, a multi-week hospitalization, a fight against a serious infection in his leg, and severe pain.  The mom wrote to me that she felt that God was giving them a sign that they needed to focus on their son.  They made the very tough decision to release Emily's file and then began praying that they would somehow find the family who would adopt her so that they could share some pictures and updated information that they had received during their time "holding" Emily's file.  The mom said that she had prayed that God would give her peace about her decision to release the file.  When she saw my post announcing our excitement about adopting Emily, she said it was her sign of peace.  She then sent us an update on Emily from October 2013 and pictures from her first birthday party in January 2014 (they had sent a cake to her to help her celebrate), and pictures from another update along the way.  Thanks to this generous family, we'll have pictures of her at every single birthday and even more baby pictures of her.  The mom told me that she believes that God had her family hold Emily's file and pray for her until we were ready to receive the file and say yes.  What an incredible story!  I hate that our joy is connected to this other family's struggle.  We are so grateful to them for sharing their story and Emily's pictures and for their prayers for her all along the way.  And the very fact that we connected with them in this way is just further proof to us that Emily's journey to us was meant to happen exactly the way it did.

Here are some of the pictures that this family shared with us:

 

 

(They were told that the brown streak in her hair came from when she was with her "nanny" (caregiver at the orphanage) while the nanny was coloring her own hair.  Apparently Emily has quick hands and grabbed the hair color and swiped some through her hair too.  I guess we need to baby-proof even more than we had planned!)