Re-Entry

We survived the van ride to Hong Kong and a few hours of sleep at an airport hotel.  We boarded our flight to Tokyo at 7 a.m. and began the first 4 hours of our return.  Emily screamed for 3 of the 4 hours.  Not a good start.  A typhoon (what??) had hit near Japan the night before, so the pilots had the "fasten seatbelt" sign on for the majority of the flight and we could not let her roam.  Emily being tied down is not a good thing and she let the ENTIRE flight know how she felt about things.  Some passengers were kind and others were horrified, but we endured and made it to Tokyo.  After about an hour layover, we boarded the final 12-hour leg of the flight to Atlanta.  She slept about 7 of the 12 hours of that flight.  We weren't sure if that was good or bad jet-lag wise, but whoever coined the old adage "never wake a sleeping baby" was no fool!  We let the girl sleep and she was otherwise pretty happy on the flight.  She made friends with one of the flight attendants who then pilfered some nice snacks for Ms. Em from first class!  Here is Emily smiling and happy in her Economy Comfort seat of her very own.  (We paid for a seat for her and were SO glad.  We also had the bulkhead row and that gave her lots of space to sit and play and roam). 

We arrived in Atlanta at 3:30 p.m. (which was 3:30 a.m. to us on "China time"), processed through immigration and customs and came out into the new international terminal to see Jackson and Graham.  As soon as I saw them, I burst into tears.  They were SO BIG and grown up looking.  I know it had just been two weeks, but they really had grown.  It all of the sudden crashed down on me how much I had missed them.  It's strange how two weeks of focus on somebody who is about 2.5 feet tall makes "big boys" suddenly look like giants.  They were so excited to see us and to see their little sister.  They danced around her and tried to hold her and talked to her and kissed her.  We paid a photographer (Kirsten Lee - Red Threads - little plug :)) to take pictures for us and I can't wait to see what she saw through her lens.  As much as we probably looked (and definitely felt) like death warmed over after being awake about 24+ hours, I wanted somebody to be able to capture our reunion and the boys' first moments with their new sister.

Emily is doing so well with the boys. She is hugging them and doing the "mmm-wah" kissing thing with them.   She doesn't mind if they awkwardly hold her.  She - who hasn't been still enough for 2 weeks to allow us to eat anything other than room service on towels on the hotel floor (sorry maids) - has nicely sat in her highchair next to her adoring brothers for multiple meals.  She also helped take them to school today and allowed them introduce her to all of their friends, teachers, camp leaders, etc... She watches them play with her and she joins the games.  She is letting them teach her how to go up and down stairs safely.  She loves when they do funny things to make her laugh.  It is all a little "new puppy"-esque probably, but still very sweet.  We didn't think she was paying much attention when we Skyped with the boys from China, but maybe she was.  She definitely seems to know them and to recognize their voices.  When we picked Jackson up from camp this afternoon, she went immediately over to hug him - and this is less than 24 hours after meeting him in person for the first time. 

She was awake and screaming last night from 2-4 a.m., but that's not too bad (seems like it though!) given the 12-hour time difference and very long last two days of the trip.  She has been back on a normal schedule so far today and is doing alright tonight -- at least as of right now. :)  She HATED the pack-and-play in our room, so we just put her in her "big" room today in her big crib.  I'm going to sleep on a toddler bed in there tonight  - and maybe for a few more nights - to see how things go.  Lots of big changes for everyone.

Days have seemed to run together - especially these last few - so I almost forgot that today is my birthday.  Birthdays aren't any more what they used to be and really, they kind of make me sad now.  Three years ago, my birthday was the last "normal" day we had with my mom before she was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor and began a slow, horrible decline.  As I opened a present from my dad (one for me and one for Emily) signed "RAS, Beans (our name for Mama), and Jo (their dog)," I cried.  I wish she could be here to see her new granddaughter and to play with her and sing to her and tell her all of the nursery rhymes and stories she used to tell and teach to Jackson and Graham.  She had such boundless energy and an extraordinary memory for childhood songs, rhymes, baby clapping games, and other fun stuff.  I wish she could see Emily Jean (her name) dancing for the first time in the sunshine of her first backyard.  I wish she could see Jackson and Graham holding their little sister and helping to put her little toes inside her funny "Kung Fu Panda" shoes.  I wish she could be here for all of these moments - and more. 

What a journey we've been on!  It seems like I've been researching, fretting over, praying for, planning for, and otherwise living adoption for so long.  It's hard to believe that we did it and that it happened and that we're now living the reality of it all.  I have always been one to cry about change - even good change: graduations, wedding, having babies, moving to a bigger house, etc... and this first day back feels a little like that... Like I'm trying to let go of an old life and embrace a wonderful new one.  Like I'm trying to figure out how to make my heart grow bigger to show the same amount of love now to three children vs. two.  Like I'm wondering how I can make it all - kids, house, my job, our lives -- work again in a semi-functional way.  I guess this is just how life goes.  And, as Jackson and Graham sang to Emily on the ride home from the airport yesterday, I should remember that "He's Got the Whole World In His Hands."  And that includes our little family too.